(copied from my lj)

I think Organic Chemistry made me cry tonight. I'd like it to blame it on other things, but really, when it comes down to it- I think it was multi-step synthesis that was the end of the rope.

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After realizing that my body will not be sleeping for at least another few hours, I found myself doing something that I haven't done in awhile: reading old entries. Scrolling through them made me realize how much I miss sorting out my thoughts and feelings out onto a keyboard and eventually, I decided to give a shot again. Apparently livejournal has saved a 'draft' that I must have inadvertently exited out of and never finished, sometime last semester. I found it quite humorous and left it in this entry, as I thought it was an appropriate introduction.

I've been living my life on a day to day basis only- meaning that I've put little thought into the future, and am now slowly coming to terms that I'm coming to the point in my life where I can't do this anymore. Every decision that I make or don't make at this point has so much more of an impact on my future than ever before, and it is still difficult for me to grasp that.

Which leads me to the question that has been plaguing my mind since I've stepped foot in college. I now realize how urgently I need to resolve this issue as it could potentially determine in what direction the rest of my life is headed. A decision that has become so scary to me that I don't even feel comfortable sharing it right now.

Maybe because I know it's a decision that I need to make by myself.